We Always Hang In A Buffalo Stance

• [driving around with Jeremy on errands, listening to terrible pop radio for the karaoke value]
• Lewis: Shorty is /what/ like a toaster?
• Jeremy: [sputtering laugh] Words I doubt you expected to say today.
• Lewis: OH he said "shorty is HOT like a toaster," I totally thought he said "shorty is HUNG like a toaster."
• Jeremy: And for ten glorious seconds, it was a much more interesting song.

• Jeremy: I'm still bummed that [Mass Effect] 2 and 3 had so little with the Eeyores.
• Lewis: [blink]
• Jeremy: You know.
• Lewis: I forgot that you totally call the elcor "Eeyores". That is a thing that you do.
• Jeremy: Hey, I don't give you trouble about calling the krogan "size lords".
• Lewis: Yeah sorry I didn't think you'd know what that meant. I was totally about to make a joke about calling the krogan "daddy" but that--
• Jeremy: [sputtering laughter] Yeah that might not go over so well.
• Lewis: Because of the genophage.
• Jeremy: I get it.
• Lewis: Because they can barely ever have children.
• Jeremy: I /understand/.

• [so a little while ago Jeremy started his own re-playthrough of the Mass Effect series starting from the first, and I am watching him play]
• Lewis: Wait, what'd you name your Shep?
• Jeremy: [hops over the Squad] Arya. After Arya Stark, come at me.
• Lewis: You remember there's a character named Aria, right? Aria T'Loak?
• Jeremy: ...oh, /balls/. Whatever, they're both unquantifiable badasses, they can just tilt their chins and be like, "Sup."
• Lewis: Hey, I named my very first Courier "Lily" and then my first male Courier "Ulysses", I have had to think about things like this.

• [okay so naturally my voice is pretty raspy, but when I'm sick it gets straight-up gravelly. well Jeremy just called to tell me he was heading home and this was the conversation starter]
• Jeremy: Whoa.
• Lewis: What?
• Jeremy: You sound like hell.
• Lewis: I'm aware.
• Jeremy: I mean, you never sound smooth but right now it's like if Michael Wincott had a Texas accent.
• Lewis: Fuck you.
• Jeremy: Easy, Top Dollar.

So this just happened

• Shan: lewisssss where am I
• Lewis: The living room
• Lewis: I heard you stumble in on your stripper heels around 4AM
• Shan: Lewis
• Shan: All I remember from last night is
• Shan: We did karaoke and I sang What About Love and I dedicated it to you
• Lewis: Aww
• Shan: I may have given a soliloquy about your lifelong sluttiness before it, this was after a few shots
• Lewis: Saw it coming.
• Shan: I may have referred to you as "President Cockwhore"?
• Lewis: I'm forgiving you because you can properly spell soliloquy while rocking a hangover
• Shan: My point is I'm pretty sure one of your professors was in the audience
• Shan: Will you bring me some water

• [so Jeremy's out of the state until Tuesday, and when he arrived at his hotel he called to let me know he got there safe and we had this horrible sglurgey "I MISS YOU ALREADY" nonsense and then he called tonight]
• Jeremy: Some of my colleagues overheard me talking to you earlier--
• Lewis: When we both wept like codependent children?
• Jeremy: Right, then, and long story short I forget that sometimes it takes some explaining when I reflexively refer to you as my husband in polite company.

In Which I Ruin A Good Point By Being A 12-Year-Old

• [while discussing how goddammit I love whole bodies not just butts]
• Anne: butts are a thing
• Anne: that everyone can come together on
• Anne: (figuratively speaking)
• Lewis: pffffffffffffffff
• Lewis: MY MIND
• Lewis: IMMEDIATELY WENT THERE
• Anne: not everyone is into cocks
• Anne: not everyone is into tits
• Anne: but butts?
• Anne: who doesn't love a fine ass
• Lewis: I'm sorry I'm still stuck on you saying everyone can come together on butts.

Jeremy's Counterargument To Shan's Proposal

• Jeremy: Sure, you could do that, or you could stay there and I'll bring home the ingredients for us to make pizza and then I'll watch you play Mass Effect and play with your hair for an hour.
• Lewis: The fact that that sounds like a better evening -- that's a bad sign, right?
• Jeremy: Lemme put it this way. Everyone's expecting you to go party with them. Shock them by not doing it. Be the rebel.
• Lewis: Oh my god.
• Jeremy: And then all night no matter what "epic shit" happens someone will say, "But it would have been cooler if Lewis had been here," and then everyone will longingly sigh your name.
• Lewis: I should be more bothered by the fact that you know exactly how to manipulate me.